Blocho's comments - page 3

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I have three kids, and in many ways, all of my movies are also my children. That means I have more than 100 children, which is too many children according to my brother, my therapist, and my mailman Federico. So I know all about the frustrations of parenthood. But that’s not what I was drawing on for this performance. Instead, I just focused on the fact that I gave my son a kick-ass name like Kal-El, and my parents gave me a boring name like Nicolas, and suddenly I felt all the rage I needed for a movie about family tensions. Teach your children well, folks.

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Ghosts? Oh sure, I know all about ghosts. I saw a ghost once when I was 5. Now, my dad claimed it was just my Great-Uncle Anton in a ghost costume on Halloween, but I know what I saw. I didn’t spend most of my teen years studying psychopomps and supernatural bestiaries just on a whim. And here’s the good news, I found them! I found plenty of ghosts. All you need to do is get naked on a night with a full moon, grease yourself up in Crisco, do a few poppers, and take a jog through any reasonably deserted casino or college dormitory. I did that for the first time when I was 9, and it worked like a charm.

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So I’m at the Baja 1000 a few years ago in order to see my buddy Geppetto ride his Honda NC750 to glory. And at a cantina in Ensenada, this dude walks up to me and says, "Jiu Jitsu." And I say, "Absolutely." From 1982 to 1984, I trained with Kru Ram Muay in his dojo in Sherman Oaks, so I’m always ready to fight. But then this guy explains that Jiu Jitsu is a movie he’s making and he doesn’t actually want to fight me. I’m so disappointed that I walk out, but later I hear the guy is claiming that I agreed to an oral contract to be in the movie. Well, I figure that I don’t know much about Mexican law, and I’ve already spent so much on tax attorneys over the past decade, so it’s best not to battle it out in court. That’s how I ended up being in Jiu Jitsu, which turned out pretty cool. And Geppetto ended up crashing his hog, so to make him feel better I got him a cameo in the movie.